I felt like a complete imposter last week. As a business coach, and in general, I am a confident person. But this time, I went to a songwriting retreat, and boy, did I step out of my comfort zone. Having played in bands all my life, I was excited to brush up on my skills and get some new ideas for songs. So I signed up for a week in England with Berklee affiliated professor and songwriter Andrea Stolpe, and on arrival I thought:”What am I doing here?” This post may give you some tips on how to beat imposter syndrome, when you yourself are in a new, unfamiliar situation like I was.
Imposter syndrome and the pesky F chord
There were 28 international musicians and then there was me. I suddenly became incredibly self conscious and nervous on arrival, and was 100% sure that people would find out within the next few hours that I was a complete amateur and didn’t belong there whatsoever. I mean, I can’t even play guitar properly (or is that just in my head?).
Overcompensating when nervous
Like I often do when nervous, I started talking, A LOT. To the fellow participants in my accommodation, to anyone new arriving, passing or appearing in the doorway. I guess I was trying to hide my nerves by overcompensating my anxiety, not to let it show. But I was exhausting myself.
But what eventually helped, was that I also opened up and admitted that I was nervous. And that turned out to be the key to relaxing into this new environment. I said I can’t play the F chord so I felt I wasn’t a proper musician. Turned out they all felt the same and the F chord is a bastard. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief once someone said how they all felt. We were all suffering from imposter syndrome, and as a bunch of strangers we instantly found comradery.
It’s OK to make mistakes
I had never been to anything like this before, co-writing with new people every day and then performing your fresh new song at 8pm in front of everyone. Can you imagine? 😱. But the truth was, some of the most experienced and professional musicians there (including a member of a famous band) had never been to anything like this. Just because you’re a veteran in the industry, doesn’t mean you perform on automatic and make mo mistakes.
And when you step out of your comfort zone, level up, and try something new – THAT’S when the imposter syndrome rears its ugly head again. It doesn’t mean you don’t belong there, it means you are in a place of growth. The longer you stay, and the more comfortable you become with the feeling, the more you grow as a person, artist or entrepreneur.
What I learnt? Not to believe that you don’t belong somewhere. Not to label yourself as an amateur when it turns out that really you’re a word smith and melody maker, and not an instrumentalist (my own light bulb moment!) – and that is OK.
You just got to find your unique superpower, and own it.
Did it all go perfect? No! Many musicians forgot the words or the chords (or their reading glasses to read their own lyrics) at the evening performances. It was all good, we all applauded. You just try again.
How to beat imposter syndrome
To beat the imposter syndrome, the best thing to do is to admit that you are feeling this, and that it is a totally normal feeling. Even the most successful people have it, especially when doing something new. Famous singers still have stage fright. You may feel like an imposter when launching a new offer, or announcing your new business online. You may have it when attending an industry event and having to introduce yourself.
Give yourself permission to feel this anxiety, but at the same time, don’t let it take over. Breathe through any nervous feelings, smile, and feel your own inner power. You are totally capable, AND you are allowed to be imperfect. Besides that, you have as much right to be in a certain place as anyone else.
In a safe and encouraging environment, and with the right support, you can move mountains.
